I lived through the nightmare of Mom mixing important mail into stacks and bags of items that had been around for DECADES so long that I didn't see any way around it. Call the utility and explain - "Yes, we could pay the bill NOW. " Didn't tell them we could have paid it when they sent the notice. TMI

Oh, how I would have preferred to vent.

Well, anyway - all that is just an intro. I found a MIRACLE at Lowe's - a LOCKING mailbox that can be attached to the front of the house easily! Yes, so easily that someone who believes they are Murphy (If it can go wrong - it will go wrong - with me…) can do it.

http://www.lowes.com/pd_423269-64152-2562B-10_0__?productId=4763897&Ntt=locking+mailbox&pl=1&currentURL=%3FNtt%3Dlocking%2Bmailbox&facetInfo=

I do have some modifications that you might appreciate, however. The mailbox comes with screws and anchors. I chose to get longer ones to go farther into the siding and anchor the mailbox more securely. (Mom is pretty strong when she gets it in her mind to have something! I can see her ripping the mailbox off the wall to turn it over and shake it until the mail falls out or smash it with a hammer until nothing is coming out again, ever.) Our house also has siding that isn't flat. I chose to get some nylon inserts to fit over the screws to help keep the mailbox tight against the surface. The inserts should be as thick as the siding required to get to the farthest point. Remember the screws have to be able to go THROUGH them.

The mailbox is also designed to be able to lift it over the anchored screws and lower it into position. It makes it easier to install. (I figured that was a perfect recipe for disaster and that the mailbox would be inside worthless in less than a day.) I checked the diameter of the screw heads and purchased washers with a smaller center diameter to permanently anchor the mailbox. The outside of the washers have to be large enough that they can't pull through the holes in the back of the mailbox.

Make a guide to mark the location of the holes for the screws and anchors. Lay a paper over the back of the mailbox (You might tape it so it doesn't move.) and use a pen or pointed object (Yes, it MIGHT be safe around Murphy!) to punch holes where the screws will go. Remove the paper and use it as a guide to mark pilot holes on the front of your house where you want the mailbox to be.

Start each of the screws in the pilot holes. Remove them.

Place a washer on the screw. Slide the screw through the hole in the mailbox. Slide on the insert. Position the screw in the pilot hole on the house holding the mailbox up.  Keep holding the mailbox while you do the same with the second screw. DO NOT TIGHTEN SCREWS AT THIS POINT! Just make sure they are holding the mailbox up. Follow the same pattern (washer-mailbox-insert-wall) for the last two anchor screws. Once all four screws are loosely holding the mailbox, you may tighten them down to hold the mailbox securely. Finally, your mailbox is attached.

Most of these directions come with the mailbox.  They have pictures! I just added the washers and the inserts to make things more secure.

Now that the locking mailbox is on your house, you can go through the mail before it gets delivered to your patient. (Maybe we won't get any more vitamins, coins or sweepstakes entries that make it seem like you've already won - but that's another story!)

In just the short time since the mailbox has been on the house the stacks of stuff have gone down. I FINALLY feel like I am making some headway as I sneak trash out the door! I actually have two of the forms we will; need to fill out taxes. Maybe I won't have to request any duplicate forms this year! This locking mailbox is a MIRACLE!

Okay, how many times will the fire department come and change your smoke detector batteries in a year? At least three…..

Do any of you have problems with your parent / patient calling emergency numbers? My mom has also called the police because she was cold. She told them her furnace was not working…..

http://www.alz.org/alzheimers_disease_stages_of_alzheimers.asp?type=alzchptfooter#stage1

Well, I found an excellent blog with some resources for understanding Alzheimer's.  The link is above.

It definitely makes me sad to read the progression of Alzheimer's knowing that it's my Mom I am talking about but I still think it's better to know what's coming and to be as prepared as I can.

I can't help but wonder how much longer Mom will be safe in her home. She has been so determined throughout her life that she NEVER wanted to go to a nursing home that I hate to even entertain the thought of that happening but I have to be realistic. At some point, it might become necessary for her to live where she has continual help. Some things make it seem like that day will be soon. Others just make me smile.

I took her to the doctor this morning. While waiting to be seen, my 86 year old mom was flirting - yes, flirting - with the gentlemen (Yes, plural!) in the waiting room. The guy across from her even gave her one of those smile cards in payment for the one she gave him. I liked his way of giving a smile better than her way of singing "Pease porridge hot, pease porridge cold…. " especially when she got to the part at the end where she threw her arms up in the air bringing them down to "accidentally" land on the gentleman next to her.  Heaven forbid if I had ever actually pulled a stunt like that. At least now I know where I come up with some of my ideas, though….

Caregivers Unite: I really could use some help. I fell into one of t...

Caregivers Unite: I really could use some help. I fell into one of t...: I really could use some help. I fell into one of the worst jobs you would ever want to have - caring for a parent - and I am struggling. To...

I really could use some help. I fell into one of the worst jobs you would ever want to have - caring for a parent - and I am struggling. To watch Mom decline every day and remember less and less is so sad and frustrating but I AM thankful for every day she is here and glad I am able to spend what time I can with her….

So what help do I need? No, I don’t want you to Momsit though if you volunteer, I might let you take over for an afternoon or weekend so I could have a REAL break. What I really need is the commiseration of other caregivers and the valued treasured advice you can give. I have stumbled upon a few good ideas and I would love to share them, and some laughs. You have to laugh or you would go crazy.

So, I hope you consider joining my blog if you are a caregiver and especially if you are a caregiver for a family member who is an Alzheimer’s or Dementia patient.